Document Your Sexy!

[00:00:28] Speaker A: Hey. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Hey, friends. Today I chat with Becky Fryer, an amazing photographer and my friend who specializes in female boudoir photos in the Bay area. I have had the pleasure of having her document many aspects of my life, from my engagement photos and wedding photos and to my personal boudoir photos. Last year, Becky and I chat about the power of photos and what it can do for your self esteem team and your confidence. So enjoy. [00:01:02] Speaker C: How are you? [00:01:04] Speaker A: I'm good. How are you? [00:01:05] Speaker C: Good. I always feel like when I see your face, it kind of feels like old friend energy. That makes me feel warm and safe and comfortable when I talk to you because I feel like I've known you for so long now. [00:01:16] Speaker A: That's how I feel about you and your whole family. [00:01:21] Speaker C: I know. I was just trying to think back to when I met you for the first time. And I think it was 2013 when you did my sister's newborn photos, probably. I think that's when I first met you. Which led into you. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Was that when we first met? Because I think everything started with Janelle. [00:01:43] Speaker C: Oh, maybe it was Janelle's newborn photos, then your sister, and then my sister. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Janelle, pregnancy. [00:01:52] Speaker C: Oh, that's right. Janelle's pregnancy photos, and then my sister's photos with her first Hayden. And that was all like, 2012, 2013 holidays. [00:02:05] Speaker A: Right? I feel like I remember Christmas. Christmas outfit. [00:02:09] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah. Well, Hayden. I mean, Hayden was born in October. [00:02:17] Speaker A: Oh, that would make sense then. [00:02:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:19] Speaker A: So around that time, prepping for Christmas, holiday stuff, cards. [00:02:23] Speaker C: Yeah. And then from there, you did my engagement photos and then my wedding photos. And then I feel like for a couple of years after, you were just doing all of our friends and family's wedding photos and engagement photos, and you were just constantly around. [00:02:42] Speaker A: My business literally started with the armors. [00:02:45] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:02:46] Speaker A: I love circle of people. I don't know if I would be where I am if I didn't meet, I guess, Brian, which is how I met Janelle. And then from there, it just has spread like a wildfire. [00:03:02] Speaker C: Oh, I feel like I have a little part in that. And I love even I would have never even thought about. It's. [00:03:10] Speaker A: It's like a family tree. It's just growing and growing. [00:03:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I know. Because a bunch of Stacey's friends, too, I feel like, have used you. It just makes me so happy because, like, in business or in anything I do when I am needing a service, I'm looking to people. Not only that I know can do a good job, but people that make me feel comfortable that I can trust. And I feel like you've always been one of those people. And that's why, as we've shared your name through all of these people, we know it comes from a place of, you can trust her, you're going to have a great experience. She's going to take care of you. And I just think that's important when you're trying to find anybody who provides a service, but especially photography. [00:03:54] Speaker A: That's why word of mouth is the best way to find services, whether it's hair or photography, anything. I think it's people's personal experiences. [00:04:07] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. And so while you kind of said that kind of started back in this time period where we were using you for some of our early family photos and things like that, but how did you actually decide for you to get into photography? [00:04:26] Speaker A: So I started when I had my third child, and I think I waited till she was, like, two or three months old, and I decided I wanted newborn photos. And first of all, newborn photos, you don't do them at three months old. Everybody was like, no, that's not a thing. And then I also realized the investment, and I was not prepared for that at all. And so I was like, well, I'm going to do this. My husband had bought me a nice camera, and I'm like, I'm just going to do it myself. And to this day, I don't think they're horrible, but I think any photographer that looks back on their beginning work, they're like, oh, but it's definitely what catapulted it, because I think I shared those online, and then people saw, and then they started asking if I could do their photos. It's obviously my work has changed a ton since then and grown and gotten better, but that's how it started. [00:05:24] Speaker C: And now you have niche down your business to a very specific type of photo. You do exclusively boudoir photos now. And I had the amazing experience of doing boudoir photos with you last year. I think it was March of last year. Yeah. And I just found the experience so unbelievably empowering. I found it to be fun. I was at a point where my daughter was, I think, about ten months old at the time, and I felt like that was a really important time for me to do it. Where it wasn't all the perfect conditions that sometimes women want in their life. Right? Yes. I had been able to lose baby weight, but not in a way I was actively trying to do it, but I felt really good. I felt really strong, and I felt like that was a good time period. But I don't think I really understood until I did the photos with you what that experience can be like and what kind of attention and approach it takes from a photographer to really bring that out in somebody. So I really want to know what caused you to fine tune your photography business into nothing but boudoir photos. What led you there? [00:06:53] Speaker A: So, like you said, I was definitely doing everything in the beginning. I was a jack of all trades. When did I start bogoir? Like, when did I do my first session? [00:07:06] Speaker C: I mean, I remember you did a couple of shots even during my wedding, getting ready photos. So I feel like you were already kind of dabbling in that experience in 2014. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Early on, the bride prompted it and said, do you do it? And I was like, I can try. But at that point, I definitely, like you said, was doing everything. I was very light, bright, and airy, and I would say, what? Really? I guess I liked it and I loved it. And I definitely was so excited when I would leave. I was so excited to pull up the photos, so excited to edit them and go through them and see what we got. And I was like, oh, my gosh, she's so gorgeous. Oh, everything's so gorgeous. I don't think I've ever looked at any woman and been, oh, no, you get behind the camera and I'm like, oh, everything's so beautiful. You're so beautiful. Everything's perfect. And then when I found the more dark and moody side of boudoir, is when it really ignited. That was when we were living in Sacramento area, and I was still just doing photography part time, period. It was more of a side hustle. It wasn't my full blown job. I found the dark and moody. It started to become a thing. And just being able to look at somebody's body and playing with the light and the shadows to just highlight our curves or our collarbones or the little things on us that I love, the little back butt dimples that are on back. Not everybody has them, but just being able to, because when you do light and bright and airy, I don't feel like it's like more Victoria's Secret catalog. It's pretty, it's soft. But then when I found this style of photography, it just like, I'm like, this is it. This is my passion. I obviously love photography, but finding that style, for whatever reason, versus light, bright and airy, just ignited it full on. So I think at that point, I'm like, that's it. This is all I'm doing now. I'm not doing families anymore. At that point, I think I'd already phased out of weddings and babies just from the stress level of it. I was having vertigo and the stress would onset it. So at that point, I was only doing families and boudoir, but that was just finding that style. And then I phased out families eventually. And it's really hard to phase out families still living in the area. And having created these relationships with people and whether it be like your guys'family, or whoever, I would still shoot the people that I've created these long term relationships with over the last ten years because that's the. Gosh, is that how long? I guess it's been over ten years. It's been like a little twelve years. But that's how I phased out of it. I stopped taking new clients. I still would do the people I love. And it's also women. We value photos. We love photos. Typically, when family photos are happening, we're the ones that schedule them, plan them, do it all. Just honing in on women and the experience. I'm sure we're going to go into this, but it's so much more rewarding. [00:10:34] Speaker C: Yeah. I think about anytime photos are being taken in general, they're going to schedule it and organize it, tell people what you're going to wear. And I do think that there is a different mindset when you show up for photos that you want to take versus photos you don't want to take. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah, yes. [00:10:56] Speaker C: And, yeah. That experience of being like, I'm here, I want to take these photos versus someone who might be showing up because their wife kind of is making them. Yeah. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Which there's a lot of men out there that go along with it. Great. And then there's some that are man babies is what we call them. And then there's some that are just so supportive and doting and loving, and it's like, gosh, where did you come from? But to just work with women, because we typically are the ones that really value photos, and we're also the ones that don't get photos taken of us. Okay. If I die tomorrow, you have no good photos of me. Not like you're going to use a boudoir photo, but I'm just talking. When I was doing family sessions, I would try to get just mom and baby or mom and kid. And not just all family shots, because we don't have good photos of us with our kids. We don't have good photos of us by ourself. Unless we go and hire someone to do, like a session for us. My husband takes the most awful photos of me. It's like, I don't know, it brings down my self esteem, quite honestly, because I'm like, do I look like that? Because I don't feel like, yeah. But then I see the photos he takes, and I'm just like, yeah. [00:12:20] Speaker C: I try to remind my, like, if there's moments when I'm just with Belly and you're in the house, if you can remember, even to get candid shots where they're not the most flattering, at least I'll have them for myself. I don't even have those. I have to remind him, like, hey, can you snap a photo of me and belly? [00:12:42] Speaker A: And I don't know what the difference is, why we're wired differently with that. I feel like I'm constantly taking photos of him sleeping with the kids or so many. Yeah, but are there any of us? [00:12:55] Speaker C: No, not unless my mom or sister will take one or give me an opportunity on vacation. [00:13:03] Speaker A: I'm like, can you take this of the kids? And I, why do I have to ask? Why don't you be like, hey, why don't you? I know we're going off on a whole nother tangent right now, but why don't I prompt it? Because I prompt it with you and my kids. Because I want these memories one day. [00:13:17] Speaker C: But I think this kind of takes us to my next question of wanting to know a little bit more about the types of clients that you're shooting, because wanting to have those photos and wanting to have those memories of whether it's you on vacation by yourself, you and your children on vacation, or just of your body. I feel like it's all a similar desire for at least I know myself and many women out there and the reason people take boudoir photos. I feel like there's got to be a long array that could be on this list of reasons. And so I want to know a little bit about some of the conversations you've had with your clients about maybe why they're taking photos or the different types of people and women that you're getting into your photos. Tell me a little bit about your clients, I guess, and what you enjoy so much about working with them. [00:14:20] Speaker A: So I feel like the majority of people that walk through the studio door are powerhouses. Yes, there's moms, and they're married, and a lot of them are just strong women, whether it's what they've been through. I had one girl that booked a session. She almost died when she was younger. And so every year for her birthday, she books a session, not necessarily boudoir, but like a session to capture herself and celebrate herself because she shouldn't technically be here. And then I obviously get people doing it for their wedding. In my question, I ask them, why are you doing a boudoir session? A lot of people are like, yes, I'm doing it for my partner, my future husband, as a gift, but I'm also doing it for myself because I know that I'm going to want to look back on these one day. And those are typically the younger ones that are just getting married in their 20s, early 30s. When we start to creep up to like mid thirty s and up, you get women that are wanting to do it for themselves solely, and they'll share it with their partners or their husbands, but they're wanting to. I just turned 40. Well, I'm about to be 41. I didn't just turn 40, but once I hit 40, I started having this like, okay, you're kind of in that weird balance of, I'm still youthful, but I know in the next ten years a lot is going to change and wanting to capture it and hold on to it, because inevitably our bodies do change and wanting to, whether it's like, I mean, whether you do boudoir or not, like, capturing yourself at that point in time, 2030 years from now, and your bodies have changed, but you can now visualize it and remember, because I've also shot women who are 65 and freaking fabulous. Obviously, if someone's walking through the door as 65, they are much more comfortable sexually. They often tell me things about that sexually, things I should be doing. They're trying to teach me stuff, and they're very comfortable and confident in their bodies. And honestly, this is also what makes me feel good about doing bedwar, is seeing so many different bodies is that I feel okay with aging because, no, they don't look like they're 22 anymore. Of course not. They're 65, but they look amazing still. And I feel so much better about aging because I can still be sexy and I can still be this version of me now. Even then, it's just obviously going to change with each tier of aging. [00:17:19] Speaker C: Yeah, it's kind of like honoring your body in those moments, whether you're 2030, 40, 50, it's honoring that change. And I mean, this might not be for everybody because everybody has a different experience with their body or just their own confidence in their skin. I enjoy and take more pride in my body as I get older. And I don't know if that's caring less, because I don't necessarily care less. I work out a lot. There's things that I do to keep myself healthy, strong, and fit. But I'm not worried about all the details. I'm not worried about having the perfect photo when we're with families. Like, if it's a good photo of a moment and I look a little, whatever, it's fine. It's a great photo. Right? That's like, the different mindset, what time gives perspective. Yeah, it does. Yeah. And so I love hearing that about seeing different bodies, seeing the different ages, and how they embrace it and how it comes off to you behind the camera. That's fascinating because I feel like when. [00:18:28] Speaker A: I was 22 years old and I was super fit, super thin, I thought I needed to lose weight. I look back at photos now, and I'm like, you were insane. Absolutely insane. I'm almost 41 now. I've put on, gosh, just since COVID I've probably put on 30 pounds, 20 pounds somewhere in between there. And I feel more comfortable with my body now than I did in my 20s when I was at my fittest. So I don't know if it's just age gives you confidence, just time in realizing that you were so worried about posing and looking good in the photos, but you looked freaking good. And you know what? Right now, if I feel self conscious in those photos that my husband took of me in 2030 years, I'm probably going to look back on them and feel totally fine with them. [00:19:24] Speaker C: Right? And I do remember. I remember the times where I would be with girlfriends or family, somebody be taking a photo, and we'd kind of be making them take, like, ten. Right? Be like, oh, I don't like that one. Somebody else doesn't like it. It's exhausting. It drains the energy out of the moment. And the reason you're taking the photo, and it doesn't mean you can't take one or two if somebody's eyes are closed or whatever. Now we have live on Apple or on our apple devices, so it's like somebody's eyes are closed. You just find a different time in the live photo to shift it. But for me, I don't have time to waste taking 100 photos. Yes. If all of our eyes are open, we look like ourselves. Great. Take a photo and use. It's for the memory. If you don't want to post it on Instagram or put it out there, then don't do that. But it's having those moments documented and not losing the joy of taking the photo. And for me, when I was taking boudoir photos with you, I just remember feeling like I didn't have to worry or think about anything. I showed up, right. I got my hair done, I got my makeup done. I felt like I was just there to kind of be a prop in your photo that allowed me to relax. So I'm not saying prop in your photo to be like, oh, I was stiff and not really enjoying it. It was more like, okay, I'm here. She's going to tell me what to do. She's going to make sure this is the perfect lighting. I don't have to think about it. I'm not behind the camera overanalyzing every inch of my body on the photo. I don't see them until they're done. I just get to show up. You say, hey, we got it. These are amazing. We're going to try this. And that kind of mental release of not having to stress about picking the poses or even picking the outfits, I feel like I brought some outfits. You have outfits. You kind of said, like, hey, I think you should do this. This is what, it's going to look great on you. That was such an enjoyable afternoon in my life because it's another opportunity for me to have somebody do something for me in so many different ways. And I think you're just so great at kind of just the narrative and commentary in the background that amp up your clients for this fun experience. I don't really know how else to describe it because I think it's hard for people to understand who haven't done it. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. And for some people, it's very hard. Like, for you, you said you just trusted the process. For some people, it's hard to let go and trust the process. But I think that that's, like, the best thing that you can do. Well, number one, you look for a photographer that you like, their style of work. You aren't booking them based on location because I personally want to fly across the United States for my you. So you aren't booking for location. You aren't booking for, like, obviously people have budgets, but we also can maybe it takes a couple of years to save for. And you have a little jar. That's your bonvoir jar, or however, whatever you need to do to make it happen. But for me, I'm not booking a photographer based on price or location. I'm booking them because I love their work and what I see and that I trust them to capture me in the best light to capture the best parts of me. And you could go to a beginner, and they don't know what they're doing, which could have been me in the beginning. [00:23:07] Speaker C: Right. [00:23:08] Speaker A: But if you go to the wrong person, it could really deflate your self esteem. And then a photographer should pose you. Especially with boudoir. It's not candid, like family photos, where you're, like, frolicking on the trail. Right. It's not necessarily prompts. It's very posed, and it's necessary because we don't know what. I do this for a living, but if you put me in front of the camera, I have no idea what to do. I don't know what it looks like on the other end. I freeze up and I'm so awkward. I hate being on the other end of the camera. So I have to go to someone that I really trust is going to pose me and make me look good. [00:24:02] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, I remember being physically sore after. [00:24:08] Speaker A: It's a workout because you have to. [00:24:11] Speaker C: Arch your back a lot in unnatural ways. And your neck. I was like, my neck? My back was sore. [00:24:20] Speaker A: I had to warm up before eating and sensualizing. If you think about it, when we're being intimate, we aren't necessarily like this. You're usually very expressive. [00:24:35] Speaker C: Yeah. And it's hard to do that when you're with somebody else in the room. They're taking photos with you. You're trying to be as natural and relaxed. And I think being able to have somebody like you pay attention to all the details, from laying my hair in the right place to cover an eye, to create the right shadow, to what our lips are doing that for me again, I'd seen your photos on Instagram. I knew you did a good job. But having been in that experience, I did not understand how detailed a really good boudoir photo, how much that requires of the photographer. I just really didn't realize. I just assumed all these women were just doing their thing. But the experience was something, I think, next level. And I was so appreciative. And I imagine that the reason you've kind of become, I mean, as far as what I know from other people, a go to boudoir photographer in kind of the greater Berry area, I guess I'm going to call it, because I drove to you. I live in Morgan Hill. I drove out to Martinez an hour plus. Yeah, I mean, that was worth it to me because I didn't have anyone here that I was ready to trust for an experience like that. And so it made the decision to pull the trigger on doing something like this that much more. Just validating like this was the right decision because I had somebody give me substantial amount of their time. When your only focus there, yes, it's the business, but your focus was there to take beautiful photos of me. So every attention to detail is for me. And I don't know, there's just something about that. Women especially, but lots of people cat just jumped on women especially. I just feel like don't get that kind of attention on themselves very often. And it just really felt like a little mini vacation to have that experience in so many ways. So thinking about this, I wonder what is the hesitation from some people to actually pull the trigger. Have you had conversations with some people that maybe reached out to you about getting information or even people who have actually taken photos, but you get into discussing why maybe they waited longer? We know budget and price and being able to actually pay for the experience could be a hesitant or a roadblock for some people for sure. But besides that, has anybody ever shared why they're hesitant to move forward with these photos? At least with you in conversations with your clients, I think that the biggest. [00:27:35] Speaker A: Hesitation from people is what you talked about earlier is just like. It's kind of like having a baby. It feels like there is no good time to get everything perfect. People are like, oh, I feel like I have to be in the best shape of my life. And some women do come to me because they have met this goal. They are in the best shape of their life and they want capture it then. And other people realize that that's never going to happen. Life happens, we are busy. And at some point you just give in because before you know it, because you're trying to line everything. Because the biggest thing that people have said is just trying to be at the perfect. Obviously we want to feel good and look good. And so people are so focused on the body aspect of it. And that's what holds people back the most, feeling like they have to be in the best shape. But then years go by, and then I could say the same thing about myself with getting behind on the other side of the lens, feeling like I need to lose weight or I think it's hard to get out of our own heads and trust the process. But that, I would say, is the number one reason that holds people back. And then once they do, they're like, I don't know why I waited. There was no reason to wait. When they finally do, just like I put it off years now. Now years have gone by. I'm this many years older. And if you aren't already in the habit, like, you work out all the time, you eat, clean, you really take care of yourself. If you aren't already in that habit and you're busy, I don't know what the ods are of changing it that quickly. I think changing into those habits is a year plus process. I would say for someone like my age, maybe not when you're younger, but when you're 40. I've got four kids, I've got a business, we've got activities. I feel like there is no time for me to go work on that right now. And so I could keep putting it off or I could just do it and trust that they're going to still be gorgeous. And that's me right now anyway. [00:29:56] Speaker C: Yeah, and you're totally right, though. I've definitely been that person, probably with these photos. I think my intention was to do this long before I had a baby. I actually think timing worked out best for me and what I needed these photos for, to take them after having a baby, especially within a year of having a baby, because I wasn't at that kind of perfect moment for me. I was at a moment when it came to my body. Like, I wasn't at the perfect body moment for me, I guess how I would measure myself, that you appreciated your. [00:30:33] Speaker A: Body more after having a baby. [00:30:35] Speaker C: Right. And so it's like I could easily say, oh, if I would have taken the photos now, like, almost two years after having a baby. I'm in pretty good shape right now. I've been really focused on that, but I don't know that I would have enjoyed them the same. I needed those photos at the moment I took them. Everything kind of collapsed into this moment of reminding myself who I am, what I'm capable of. Not just what my body is capable of, but as a person. And some of the comment you're talking about about why people hesitate, it's the same reason why people don't take action in other parts of their life. They don't start the business, they don't ask the guy out, they don't go after something they want. They don't apply for that job that they don't think they're qualified for. It's that fear response that we have to protect ourselves. I get it. I've been there. I think I'm a different person now where I'm much more willing to say, okay, I try and I fail in my life. Who's going to think less of me, right. All the people that are in my life are still going to be like, you tried that. Didn't work out great, onto the next thing. And it seems like a big leap that I'm making from boudoir photos and starting a business. But it's all about pulling the trigger. Yeah. It's doing scarier things in your life a little bit more often. I just think people would find so much value in their life if they could be a little bit more uncomfortable, scare themselves a little bit more, and still do things. And I absolutely understand that hesitation because I was there. And having done it now, I'm so thankful I didn't wait any longer. I'm so thankful because now I have these photos that are connected to such a wonderful time in my life. When my daughter was young, my husband and I were just having so much fun together in those early first year baby energy. [00:32:44] Speaker A: It does get older. [00:32:46] Speaker C: It does. [00:32:47] Speaker A: Like you said, it's just so much more than your body. It really is. [00:32:52] Speaker C: I can't say enough good things about the experience, things that I wasn't necessarily expecting out of the process. And so I definitely think anybody kind of having those internal thoughts about what these types of photos can do for you. It's not just a beautiful photo, which it will be. It's not just a sexy photo, which it will be. It's not just something that you can keep on a computer and never look at again. You can display it, you can use them, and for whatever purpose it is, it's just so much more. Plus, the internal growth I think that I experienced from something like this, I just think is priceless. And not to say that it's not worth the investment either. Right? I mean, it's all part of what's important to you. So one thing I always like to hear from people who are self employed, I'm self employed. I am friends with a lot of people who are self employed and have built businesses. What is something that you've learned from running your own business that you wish somebody who is just starting out, whether that's in photography or not, but it could be photography specific that you would want to share with somebody else? [00:34:20] Speaker A: I think something that makes it easier is just having systems in place. I mean, for you, prepping me for the zoom, you sent over the overview of what we're going to talk about, and then you told me to make sure I have the latest Zoom software version of Zoom. Just being prepared for yourself, which helps you be prepared for your clients. That and just keeping your word. Show up. Do what you say you're going to do is the biggest thing. You hear stories about people's weding photographer canceling on them last minute or not showing up, or their makeup artist for their wedding. The biggest thing that you can do for your business is to show up, whether on all ends. I suck at showing up on social media. Just show up for people. Keep your word. And if you have systems in place, it really helps everybody, yourself and your clients. [00:35:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I absolutely agree with that. I have a lot of different types of clients, a lot of moving parts employees. And if you don't have particular systems in place, there can be a breakdown. People can feel like they're not getting quality attention from you or having a personalized experience. They feel like just a number in your virtual kind of digital Rolodex. Right. They just feel like somebody who's paying an invoice. I for sure didn't get that experience from you. I had check ins along the way, opportunities to send you other photos. I like colors. I like feeling like there's a process for me to communicate with somebody and check in and know exactly what I'm going to expect the day of something or along the process. And even as a business owner, I'm always trying to do better. And there's going to be moments where clients are, oh, I didn't really like. I didn't feel like I had all the information or I didn't feel like I was prepared for this one thing. I'm always going to take that and be like, where was the breakdown? I feel like I have a good system on some days, and being willing to grow and invest time in getting better can be the best thing I think you can do for business, especially when you've never done something before. Right? [00:36:48] Speaker A: Process. Yeah, I definitely wasn't like that ten years ago. I wasn't even like that, probably. How long has it been now? I probably wasn't even like that five years ago with family photos. I still had a system, but I don't think it is as good as it is now with my boudoir and my boudoir could be even better. I don't have a follow up system and I should just checking in and checking in on you. Did you get your album? How did it go? I need to be better about the back end of that. But like you said, you have to be willing to grow and you can't just be comfortable. That's what my husband tells me all the time. Or you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. [00:37:43] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I'm in that entire era of my life right now of trying to find ways to stretch myself in ways that I have maybe held myself back because of fear of failing or that fear of what other people will think that we were kind of talking about earlier. But in business, it's the same way. I want to get better. I want to give my clients a better experience. I want to do more things. I need feedback. I need commentary. And you have to take it in a way where it's like, how can this benefit my business? Instead of getting defensive? Or so many people in business can get defensive because they think that personal. [00:38:22] Speaker A: I mean, for me, I put my heart and soul into everything I do, whether it's photography or back when I was waiting tables, if somebody didn't have a good experience and I took it so personally, even if it wasn't my fault, it was the kitchen or I just had too many tables, and I'm a freaking human being, and I can take on so much. I would take it so personally. And it's because every person that I service, whether no matter what I'm doing, I want them to have the best experience possible. It's so important to me. And part of that is also, especially with running the business, is figuring out what that experience is. Right. Like, for instance, I have a contract. Things that get added into the contract are things that protect you as a client and protect me as a business. They protect both of us. And those things come as experiences happen. Yeah, it's all a learning experience. But at the end of the day, you definitely want to have people have a good experience, because I'm not in it just for the paycheck. Yes, it's my full time job now, and it pays the bills, but at the end of the day, the only way that I can continue to fuel my fire is if I'm fueling yours, if that makes sense. [00:39:43] Speaker C: Yeah. And you're enjoying it. Right? And some people are luckier than others in the sense that they really do love their job. They have fun in it every day. And some people, it's somewhere in between. I always say, I think I was meant to do the job that I'm doing right now. I think I'm good at it. I think I can get better. [00:40:07] Speaker A: But. [00:40:10] Speaker C: There'S definitely days where I'm pulling my hair out and throwing my hands up, going, why did I do this? I did not enjoy this experience today. This was not fun. And then there's other days where I do enjoy it. Clients are happy. But at the same time, you have to have that satisfaction. That personal growth I feel, in anything that you do to be able to keep doing it, whether you're getting paid or not, right. And finding exactly what it is that does that is really special. And so I love to hear how much you enjoy it. I, as a client of yours, felt how much you enjoy doing that and again, made my experience so much better. And so I'm really appreciative of you being a part of that journey for me. And I think I said it before, I wouldn't have done it with anybody else. [00:41:04] Speaker A: Thanks. When we're in the studio shooting and I'm behind the camera, I literally. Well, first of all, I'll say I definitely am on the lucky side that I hate the business aspect of it. Actually, that's probably the part I hate the most, is being business minded, because I'm not business minded at all. But when I get behind the camera, my ideal job would be I just show up and shoot and I work for someone else, which sounds awful, because I love that end of it. I love when I get behind the camera. And like you said, I get so excited with what we're capturing and what we're making, like, the art we're making. And people have told me that the passion really comes through, or I hope that nobody thinks that I'm just, like, hyping them up to hype them up, because I'm not that type of person at all. [00:41:57] Speaker C: No, it does not come off that way at all. [00:41:59] Speaker A: But every single person, I'm so excited. Sometimes I'm like, look at this. God, it's fire. [00:42:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:42:09] Speaker A: And that's just how I feel when we're in there shooting, like, hair and makeup, it's nice to get to know everybody, and then we get back there and we just create magic. [00:42:22] Speaker C: No. And I think even those moments where you're kind of showing the clients the photos on your camera as like a kind of a check in to tell them, look, it's going really well. Look how beautiful this is. [00:42:36] Speaker A: You look fabulous. So a lot of people are like, I'm just nervous I'm not going to look like the girls that are on your Instagram or your website. Everybody just thinks they must be models. They're not models. They're just moms. They're businesswomen. They're badasses. Yes, but you're a badass. We're all badasses. If we're taking the leap to do this. My friend Andy's a boudoir. Photographer in Sacramento, and her model and motto, I should say, is do brave shit. If you're showing up for this, you're a badass. And now I forgot where I was going with. [00:43:12] Speaker C: Reminding. [00:43:13] Speaker A: My brain goes all over the place. [00:43:14] Speaker C: No, it's reminding people that look at who you are. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Look at who you are. [00:43:21] Speaker C: Yeah, that's you. It's not a model on my instagram. [00:43:26] Speaker A: I haven't done Photoshop on you. I've done zero editing. This is you. This is what you look like. This is what you should see. If you're having a bad day, just remind yourself that this is you. [00:43:39] Speaker C: Yeah. And for anybody that needs a reminder that they should display these photos in our master bedroom as soon as you open the door is a poster size photo from one of Becky's. From my shoot with Becky. So I walk in. I get to see myself. So does my husband. It's our own little space, but it's poster size. It's not a small. [00:43:59] Speaker A: It's not hidden. [00:44:01] Speaker C: No, it's not hidden in the closet. [00:44:03] Speaker A: It is people that are shy. Like, you could put it in the bathroom or the closet. I think it's seeing yourself in print. Is that not also so different than seeing yourself on a screen? [00:44:13] Speaker C: Oh, 100%. [00:44:15] Speaker A: It's even more empowering. I don't know, overall, the whole experience, my goal is that you feel empowered and that you see yourself and just leave feeling different. I've had women that text me after and have said I feel like I can take on the world. It's not even just about. She hasn't even seen the photos yet. I just feel amazing. It's a mind shift, and maybe it's because you were vulnerable and you took the leap and you did something that was scary and trusted the process, and you haven't even seen the damn photos yet, but you feel know. [00:44:53] Speaker C: And I think that's kind of the theme, right? It's take the leap. Whatever it is we're talking about right now. [00:45:00] Speaker A: Everything. [00:45:00] Speaker C: But it's anything that you're hesitating to do right now, go do it, is what Becky and I are saying today. Go do that scary thing, get it over with. And you never know what you're going to do after that, after you have that experience. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Well, Becky, thank you so much for taking time today to chat with me. Can you tell the listeners where they can find you? [00:45:25] Speaker A: So my instagram is at Bedwire by Becky, and it's spelled B-O-U-D-O-R-I-R. Becky, there's, like, a whole thing about how to pronounce that, by the way, because it's a french word, right? Boudoir. But I feel so funny saying that. Boudoir is how I say it. And then my website's the same thing. Just ww boudoirbybecky.com. [00:45:48] Speaker C: And I will tag those in the episode notes for everybody so they can book a shoot with you immediately because you need to. Well, I will talk to you soon. Becky, thank you again. [00:46:00] Speaker A: Thank you. It was nice seeing your face. [00:46:02] Speaker C: You too.