Episode Transcript
[00:00:29] Speaker A: Hey. Hey, friends. My wonderful friend Emily Coleman joins me to talk a little bit about our experience as college athletes and shares the memories from our time together at St. Leo University in Florida. We talk a little bit about mom, life, health, fitness, and Emily shares her experience with finding out she has an autoimmune disease and how it has impacted her over the last ten months. We had so much fun catching up. Enjoy.
Oh, hey, girl.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Hey.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: How are you?
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Good. How are you?
[00:01:05] Speaker A: I miss your face and your voice and all things Emily.
[00:01:08] Speaker B: I know. It's been way too long. Like, literally too long.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: I know. I know that we all keep talking about trying to plan a trip with all of our teammates somewhere, and I think we've had this conversation every, like, two years with a group of us, and it still never happens. That's depressing.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: I know. But I think now this is probably a good time now because I don't know if you guys want more kids, but I think some of us are pretty done with children in that.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: No, I'm done with that moving forward.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: So it's probably a good time to start really planning something.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe we'll have to send this episode to everybody and say, okay, we're calling all of you out. Where are we going? Where are we meeting?
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Right.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: So I want to share a little bit about the experience of being a college athlete, and not only how it impacted us as athletes, but how it impacts the relationships we have.
Something that came up on another episode with a friend of mine was, I feel like teammates are the friends that have the most reasonable expectations of each other. And what I mean by that is we can go a really long time, you and I specifically go a long time without necessarily chatting. And I never feel like we each are holding that against one another. But when we do get to meet up like this and chitchat, it feels like no time has gone by. And I think that's something very unique to college teammates. I could be totally off. I only have this experience, I guess, to share, but with my college teammates, that group of girls that we played with, I feel like I all have the same relationship where we check in with each other. We'd be there in a heartbeat if we needed each other. But we also aren't sitting here constantly holding the other person or each other to a high expectation. It's just not attainable when we have other lives.
So Emily and I went to St. Leo University in Florida. It's, like, 45 minutes north of Tampa, I think, right? Somewhere around there.
[00:03:28] Speaker B: Yeah, something like that.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: And we played volleyball together.
Emily was a sophomore when I came in as a freshman, and I don't know that I would describe. And I'm going to ask you this. I don't know that I would describe us as close from the beginning.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: I think it happened, like, your junior year and senior year.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely stuff. My year was, like, a really weird time for.
I, like, moved out from living with Sarah and Audrey and was. It was just weird. And I feel like. Like, lost connections but then gained them. Like, junior kind of came full circle, if that makes sense.
[00:04:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like there was just a lot of transition between my freshman year, even going to your senior year, my junior year, about the different. I don't want to say, like, circles, because I think we all were pretty close. We took care of each other, we all spent time together, but there was always those pockets of teammates that were just naturally going to be a little bit closer. And I feel like really, it was your junior year and definitely senior year that we were closest. And I also think that those are the years, interestingly enough, that we as a team saw more success, which I don't know if that correlates, but as our team got better and we were more successful, our team outside of volleyball were so much closer. At least I think.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I don't want to say it was like trauma bonding, but that's kind of what it was. I feel like, in a way, we got closer, and I know trauma is not a good word, but we were in the thick of things together and we got more serious, I think, as our team and as coaching coaches changed from our, I guess my junior year, your sophomore. I mean, it was a new coach for you sophomore year, but then it was another new coach, junior and senior, and then adding female coach in, too.
It was kind of like we just started to have more of a common goal, I think.
And I agree. I think it brought us a lot closer as the years went on in the season.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that just impacts the longevity of a relationship in general. When you go through an experience like that, that not everybody gets to do. I mean, you have to think about how many people play sports in high school or club that don't get to play in college. And we had that opportunity to do that. And it's unique for the school you go to. It's unique for each team. And when I say each team, I'm talking about each season. Right. Because you're adding people. People are leaving, and it's sometimes really hard to explain to people, the type of connection you have with your teammates because you have cried a lot, thrown up a lot, both from sports and from alcohol, but you have these different experiences. You get in trouble together, you take accountability for one another, you sometimes lie for each other in ways to protect the other person.
And as I've gotten older, I realized that there's not a whole lot of relationships that have come and gone that have that same deep rooted emotional connection for that reason. And I think that's unique to sports. I think.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: No, I agree. I say this all the time to my girls now because I coach high school. I don't know if you knew that, but I coach high school. I've been doing that now for two years. And I tell them all the time, whether you love them or hate them, these relationships, and not that we ever hated each other, these relationships, like you said, are deep rooted. There is a bond that you are truly going through, and you learn how to have each other's backs, you learn how to fight for one another.
And I think it's an incredible opportunity and incredible experience because you almost have this forced friendship that you don't realize, but you all have this commonality. And then when you grow up and you realize, and I think this is why it's harder. This is what I believe. It's harder as we get older to make friends, because as athletes, we have forced friends. And the people that were my friends, I mean, we'll have, like you said, you have pockets of friends here and there. I have a couple, and I know you have a few in your life that you have stayed close with, but I guarantee 90% of your friends at some point. The deepest ones, like you said, are the athletes, the people that you spent every single day with, sweating, wearing our spandex, like going to the training room and all those things. And I agree, because I think we don't know how to make friendships. And I don't say that in a way that sounds like, oh, for us, we know how to make friendships within our circle and what our commonality is and our common interest and our desire to win or desire to play the most or desire to beat that person out, that's where what we have in common, versus somebody who has no idea, who's never played a sport or anything in their lives to build that relationship is just very difficult. As I've seen, as I've gotten older, I 100% agree.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: And I think people talk about it all the time. Surround yourself with people who are going to push you, lift you up all of these things. And I have some amazing friends.
But when you're doing something together that is important to both of you or many of you, and you're working together, it's a very particular experience. I mean, one of my longest and my best friend, Whitney, we both don't play sports now, but we met when we were twelve playing volleyball in club and then played through high school.
And so that type of experience set a foundation for our relationship, but obviously has not been the only connector. And I'm an F 45 member and I take those classes very seriously, meaning when I show up, I show up with as much of myself for not only what I'm trying to accomplish for myself, but the energy in the room of the class, of the other people to push those people. They push me. It's kind of that same energy you get from a teammate. And I realized that so many years of having just like a personal trainer or even doing the peloton F 45 has kind of brought me back to life. And I've met people and created relationships where maybe we're not necessarily hanging out on the weekends, but we're messaging and lifting each other up anytime. We're posting on Instagram about something we accomplished or a new record that we set for ourselves through F 45, and we have this group of people who are just cheering you on. And I really do understand that now more than anything, having joined back into these classes, where you have this community of people who have a common goal, which kind of like you said, and I really do believe that strengthens relationship, whatever it is. Now we're talking volleyball, physical. It could be something totally different. It could be whatever your hobby is that you enjoy to do, you have a group of people that are working together to do it or want to do it on a regular basis. There is that specific, common connection that I think makes relationships lasting, for sure.
[00:11:49] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. And I was a part of burn boot camp, which is very similar. We have an F 45 here.
We just actually got one in Wilmington. But it was the same thing. And yeah, I realized when it came to my physical health and my mental health, I needed a coach. I needed somebody pushing me and cheering me on, and I needed somebody to hold me accountable for things. Because whether it's just because I've done it, I've had somebody hold me accountable physically, not necessarily mentally or emotionally, held myself accountable. Right. As athletes, when you get to that level that we got to, it's physical, but it's also a mental. Like we were mentally stronger than other athletes that's why we were better.
But at some point, you still need a coach. Even the best players in the world or the best artists or musicians or whatever, they still have a coach, they still have a mentor, and they have somebody pushing them.
And so I agree. I think that, yeah, that's something that I needed, too, and I found in that. But I use Peloton now because I do have to do things from home. I don't have too many kids to leave the house.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: No, I get it. And that kind of takes me to another conversation that I think is an important highlight, at least from my experience, which is that having spent so many years constantly competing at a high level but also focused on winning, I mean, that really was the outcome. We weren't just playing for participation trophies, right? We were focused on winning. Especially once you get to the college level, that's all you're there for at the end of the day. To be honest, once that was gone, and I never really played volleyball after college. Couple beach tournaments randomly here and there, and then it just kind of phased out of my life, and I realized that I was approaching everything else in my life with the need to win and compete. This had to do with when I went to law school. It was like, okay, I get through law school and kind of the championship is the bar exam, right? Took the bar exam, passed that. So I win, right? Check. And then I started my career, and then I wanted more.
I wasn't feeling that validation or that sense of accomplishment. So I opened my own law firm, and now we're five years in, and we're very successful. So, check, right? And then it's like, well, what's next? What's next for me? And I'm constantly chasing that, and I think that's a competitor's mindset. And so now I'm kind of doing it in multiple different ways. Right, where I'm not just working out at the gym to be strong and healthy, which is a substantial part of the reason I do that. But now I'm seeing it bleed into that competitive mindset, and I'm trying to balance, not making it this obsessive addiction for me, but making it about when I show up, I'm going to work as hard as I can and put up the best numbers I possibly can, because it makes me feel kind of that tingling sensation that you get right before the first serve of a game that is, again, I think, very unique, where you can't describe it in any other way. Even now, I'm trying to come up with the right. Words to express at least how it makes me feel. And that came to me kind of the other day where I was like, no, there's that moment right before the first serve of the game when you're ready for the next hour and a half, 2 hours of play that you just can't get anywhere else.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: Yeah. It's like a sense of electricity. I remember with. I literally, when you started talking about it, I'm literally getting chills. And I honestly could think about when we played Tampa at our place. I don't know why that Tampa game and the whiteout and just having all the fans and it's just an electricity that I feel like is there. I remember when I played basketball, I used to almost have to go pee every time.
It's just a nervous, excited energy. So, yeah, so I 100% know what you mean when it comes and you can't bottle it up, you can't replicate it, you just know it. And I think it's not just sports. I think, like you said, anything comparison to a competitive mind and wanting to work really hard towards your goals, whether so if you are a musician or you have a showcase for art, and it's that build up, I think that tension that's been building in a good way towards your end goal, whatever that is.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And I get a similar feeling. It's not the same, as much as I really love my job, but I get a similar kind of.
It's like good nervous energy right before an important trial or a hearing that I know I am prepared for and ready to go. I have a good case. The research is supporting me. I know the research and the law is on point. There's a similar.
But it's never going to be that same level. And I would assume similar to forms of addiction. I'm not going to compare it because I understand it's not the same, but I would assume it's that same kind of chase, the chase to have that feeling. And I think as adults, we're still looking for that. And when you go long periods of time without getting close to it, I realized that I was not feeling necessarily depressed, but I was missing something. I felt heavy.
I was kind of just going through the motions saying, like, this isn't quite working for me. And once I found a way to kind of reignite that fire for me, which included at 45, it also includes this podcast, which I am just finding to be such a great way for me to do all the things I love. Right. I love talking.
While I don't always love the sound of my own voice. I do love talking and I love hearing from others, learning from others and sharing information that I've been able to kind of acquire from my job and my life experiences. And it's giving me a little bit of that life back. Right. And it's never going to be the same, but if you can find it in small doses and remember that you don't have to stop being a student of kind of life and try new things.
And I just realized that I was sitting back, not trying things because I didn't quite know the result. And now that I'm going out of my comfort zone, I'm going, yes. I just needed to challenge myself. What that looked like, I didn't know.
And so it's just interesting. And I think it's especially as we get older, we're moms, we're working, it seems like those things are less important. Like, oh, I don't need to do a podcast. I don't need to do these things.
But should that keep us from doing it? Right?
[00:19:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
Especially when you're busy and you're working and you're doing all the things and the comment I get all the time, especially having so many children and then doing all the things that we do. And you'll get it even with one child because you are dipping your toes in so many things that I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you do it. Well, you do it because you want to. And you do it because not that you have to, but you feel this pull, like you say, I feel this to do all these things, like I'm going back to school because I feel this pool to learn. I feel this pool that I need to be doing these things. I need to be working out. I need to be doing these things because I want to. I need to be taking my kids here because I want to. It's that pool kind of in the same way that maybe we felt with sports of just that pool to work a little harder or to be a little bit more successful or whatever that looked like. But yeah, I agree.
[00:20:30] Speaker A: So what is one memory from college of you and I that you think about now from time to time?
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
I don't know why. It's not even really a memory of me.
I was there, but I remember. I don't know why this one jumped out. Me.
When you got a margarita mixer for a holiday, I don't know why that's the one that came to me that I think about I think, honestly, when I see an official margaritaville, because it was, like, an official one, right? Was it, like a legit?
[00:21:16] Speaker A: I think so, yeah.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: You got it from an ex, right? Was it a gift? Was that right?
[00:21:23] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
It was an anniversary gift.
But it was also really awesome.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: It was so awesome. But I just remember you being so upset about it, like, why the heck did you buy me a margarita blender for my anniversary?
[00:21:44] Speaker A: I don't know why that was there.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: It was so there, but I don't know. I remember being in your Jeep, and I remember driving around and us listening to music, and we're driving around our little Podunk town, and I remember, gosh, there's just like a flood now. There's just a flood of memories. I mean, we went to Vegas for your birthday and just being on the bus and, like, there's just so that now that you've opened that up and it's just like, just. We had such a different. I mean, I say we, not just you and I, but just, I think what made other people would probably look at our experience at St. Leo and be like, I would never go to a school that small. And when people probably, and I know you have some friends that have gone to bigger schools, and they probably talk about the house parties or all of these things, they were doing all these things, and we're like, we're just hopping from dorm to dorm, we're going from apartment to apartment. But I think that was what made it so special. And also the group of just the girls and the guys, and we were together, and we were together all the time and all the little memories and nuggets of things that we got to experience together, even if it really wasn't that much. I look back, my husband casey will be like, oh, why didn't you guys go here? And I'm like, I don't know. We were only a couple hours. Like, why didn't we go to the keys? Why didn't we go to Miami? Why didn't we go to these places? We were not that far. We just stayed in our bubble of, and which is not a bad thing. I don't look back and regret. There are certain things I regret, but that's for another time. But we just got to enjoy being, I think, our age and enjoying that time together is really just the memories I think of now.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
Again, it's kind of like you can't describe it if you weren't there. I mean, even when I say from running down the hall from one of our apartments to the other people just don't understand that everybody lived on campus and we had on campus apartments, and pretty much everybody lived on campus. And when you didn't, it was an inconvenience.
[00:24:12] Speaker B: Right.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Every once in a while we'd go to people that had houses off campus, but it was like, somebody has to drive. I don't want to do that. I just get to hang out here and drink. And we'd go out in Tampa and make nights out of it. But for me, the majority of the memories were in those apartments and running from apartment to apartment.
Now, I'm talking separately from the volleyball experiences. Obviously, we had a lot that were amazing and fun. And being on the bus, the late hours, trying to sleep but never sleeping, and then rushing home from our faraway games to get home at 11:00 p.m. Just to shower and try to go out for a couple of hours, all of those things were fun. But because we went to such a small school and everybody was always together, I don't know, I just had the best time in college. I really can't look back and say, oh, I wish I went to a bigger school, or, I don't think there's anything that would have given us the experience that we got there in a million years.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I completely agree. I think if I didn't play sports, maybe for the football aspect, just because I'm a huge football fan and I know you love football, and once again it comes back to sports of that's important to us in our lives and that's the draw for us. And I think, yeah, I don't know if I would have ever joined a sorority. And maybe that's the force, friendship, you don't know. But, yeah, I'm with you. Just us just literally hanging out. Or we throw things out the windows at each other, like from down, we'd see somebody and we'd throw a water balloon at them or something. Just the little things that. I agree. I don't think that had we gone to a bigger school, we wouldn't have known everyone, and everyone knew who we were. Not like, in an arrogant, narcissistic way, but in a family.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: Community.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: Yeah, we were a family. Yeah, absolutely.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: So when you were talking about throwing things out the window, it reminded me, and I'm going to call her out and of the one person who I felt like always had to call somebody to be let into the building because she forgot her key card, couldn't find it. And often it was two, three, four in the morning. And that's Brittany Fuer.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: I don't know how many times I had to let her in the building because she forgot her key card.
But that is something I always think about when I'm thinking about the apartments is why that girl could not remember or find her freaking key card.
[00:26:57] Speaker B: No. And I want to say she had, like, if I remember Britt's keys correctly, I feel like she even had it. Nowadays, we all have our keys attached with our cards right on there. It's just so easy because we don't. Yeah, but I feel like she was, like, the innovator she had that way before us.
You know what I mean? I feel like she was the one. She had the cooler phone, and that was just. I feel like I remember her having Those, but I agree, she never could find it.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm going to have to message her this later because I'm like, I just remember so many times my phone ringing up with her name, and it's like, oh, this bitch is locked out again.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: Somebody's apartment.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: She went somewhere, she stayed somewhere, and now she wants to be let back.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Going home.
[00:27:47] Speaker A: Okay, I'm going to shift a little bit away from our catch up sesh, even though I feel like we could do this all day long.
But you have been sharing pretty openly via social media about this kind of, I want to say, 810 month journey that you've been on and kind of a discovery of some health issues that you've been going through. And so I would love if you would share a little bit of background about what's been going on and what you've discovered and how you're doing now.
[00:28:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
So I kind of have to start at the beginning, sort of, which starts with, really, my fertility journey, in that I went through fertility issues. I have endometriosis, and it took us five years to have our first child, but I still didn't really know anything was going on. And I still kind of, to this day, in that capacity. I don't know if they're correlated, and I probably should do more research about that. But had a child, had Knox, and then had the twins, got pregnant with the twins eight months later, and then had tuck two and a half years later. So at that point, I was just the heaviest I had ever been and just feeling physically not myself. And I think this comes back to kind of this aspect of being an athlete. And I had been working out like crazy. I had joined that gym. I had mentioned burn boot camp. I was doing so many things that I thought were the right things. I was cutting out alcohol, I was cutting out dairy, I was cutting out all these things.
And I was sleeping horribly and gaining weight heavier than I had been being pregnant with twins. And I'm 62, I'm very tall, so I'm going to weigh more. That's just life.
And so I was just super lethargic. My skin was just out of whack, like eveRything. Like, I was losing hair and all these things. And I was like, this, just to be honest, this just sucks. I don't know what's going on.
And so I have a really great primary PA that I'd go see. And actually she just left for, she went to stay home with her kids, which stinks for me, but is awesome for her. And she was just a big advocate for. I was like, I don't feel good. I don't feel myself. What's going on?
And so she tested all, did some blood work, and everything kind of came back normal. I was like, this sucks, like, what's going on? And she kind of suggested, well, let's do another test. And they tested my thyroid antibodies, which it's basically like, if you don't know what it is, it's where your thyroid could lead to thyroid issues.
There's antibodies in your basically attacking your thyroid. And mine were elevated super high.
And then kind of from there they, she recommended me to an endocrinologist who ran the test and did more blood work. And at that point, my thyroid was okay.
It was pretty normal. But he's like, let's reevaluate in six months. And so, honestly, that endocrinologist didn't do anything for me. And so I had to do a lot of research on my own and at the same time had started a weight loss medicine. And along with figuring out, just doing some more holistic research of what works for Hashimoto's, what works for thyroid, and just kind of trial and error.
And for me, I cut out gluten. I have really minimized my alcohol intake and reevaluated my workouts. So when normally I would go like, I'm going to do cardio for an hour, it wasn't benefiting my body. And I was doing primarily cardio and not a lot of strength training. And so just really reevaluating kind of where I needed to be and getting my levels under control and losing almost 60 pounds, everything's kind of balanced out. So that's kind of long story short and ask away. I'm sure that I've left stuff out, but that's kind of where we are now. I have done, actually a lot of research on my own because my doctor really didn't do, uNfortunately, a lot to help me. I have used social media a lot to try to figure out what works, and everyone's different, so you kind of have to do your own trial and error to figure out what is helping or hurting in a way.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah. And I can imagine that similar thoughts, at least as I've gotten older. It's like, oh, it's harder for me to change my body in ways that maybe I want to, right, for whatever goals I have at the time.
But it can be confusing and trying to understand. Like, okay, I understand my body is going to change and maybe things are going to be harder, but this is not adding up and trying to find the answers when you have doctors that aren't necessarily helping and giving you the right answers, but then it seems like you were at least able to get a diagnosis so that you could investigate that further to try to figure out what steps you need to take to feel the way you wanted to feel. Right. Regardless of what that meant.
But when you're not happy in the way that you feel, and then you're battling against that to reach certain goals for yourself so you can feel the way you want to feel and not having the answers. I can just imagine that being really frustrating.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think, too, it just comes back to, I think, our mindset of why am I working so hard and seeing no progress. Right. And that's whether you're an athlete or not, you work really hard for something. I'm killing myself in the gym. I'm cutting out all these things that I enjoy food wise, and you're not telling me because I think it's one thing, it's never easy to cut things out of your life, right? Especially not easy to cut out fast food or junk food or whatever. It tastes good. Right. That's why we eat it like there's sugar and we do that. But I think at the time, before I was diagnosed, I was like, well, no one's telling me I have a gluten intolerance or no one's telling me that I have a dairy intolerance. So I'm just going to minimize it. I'm not going to cut it out because it's harder for me to cut it out. And then when I realized how much it was affecting and it could elevate my thyroid, which could lead to thyroid cancer and other things like completely shut down my body, I was like, oh, I've got to change something.
And that has helped tremendously with just the way, like you said, the way I feel. And yes, the number is great. I'm not going to lie as a woman being a smaller number, but I think now I'm to the point of I just feel better. I have more energy for my kids. I've added some more supplements to kind of balance my cortisol levels and things like that, and I feel better. I have the energy to do things and enjoy my life.
I go to bed at like 09:00 but I get good night's sleep and I feel rested in the morning, which is good.
[00:36:08] Speaker A: Going through this process, what have you learned that you think your experience can provide at least helpful information for other people who might be struggling and want to try to figure out if there is something else that they should be looking at or it could be totally different. Right. Everybody's bodies are so unique, and what impacts them might not impact somebody else. Is there anything general that you learned that you wish or would hope other people could at least take away from your experience of at least trying to get these answers?
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that finding someone who's in your corner and finding the right questions to ask, a lot of times I didn't even know the questions to ask because I didn't have anyone in my family.
And so I think finding people in your corner to help ask those questions when I went to the doctor was really helpful.
But I think also finding out in terms of that, an extension of that, asking what else can be. So, for me, I had no idea about the thyroid antibodies. I just assumed when they tested my thyroid and everything was normal. When your blood work comes back normal, your potassium levels, everything comes back normal. And you're like, well, then, like you said, what is going on? Why don't I feel, well, ask, is there anything else I can do? Is there any other wayS?
And kind of the second thing would be just, you hear it all the time about gluten, and I don't know the science behind, honestly, I don't know the science, so I know it enough.
But the inflammation that's going on in your body, really take a look at that.
The gluten, not so much like wheat and things like that, or like white potatoes or things like that. It's like the gluten, just the artificial aspect of it all, is very impactful on your body. And that's where I noticed just a huge impact. So I would definitely take. I'm not saying cut out, because I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. And you always want to reach out to your medical people that you trust. And that's why I say, number one would be to find your circle of people that are supportive, whether that's a traditional Western medicine or more holistic people, because there's so many people out there.
But look at what you're putting in in terms of gluten, in terms of the dyes. We've tried to really evaluate those things in our health. So those are the two things I would say, if you could just take a look, because they don't always come forth with the answers. And not to bash doctors or to say anything, but if you go to a big doctor, you're just unfortunately kind of a number. And so you have to find someone where you can build that relationship with. And it's nice having, honestly, it's nice having friends who are nurses, because then I call them, even if they're like a dermatology nurse. I'm like, what does this mean? What does this look like? What's going on? What should I ask? So those two big things, I think gluten and figuring out what your body is sensitive to. Because sometimes what I've learned is cutting out gluten for some people is not good. They need it or vice versa, like meat or dairy or whatever. You have to figure out, like you said, what's going to work best for your body and keeping kind of a log of stuff. I've had to do that as well. I forgot. That's kind of like the third thing. Keep a log of my food and how does my body react to it. That's kind of really helped.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: I feel like I'm pretty lucky. I can kind of eat whatever I want and it doesn't impact me substantially one way or the other. I do eat pretty healthy. I'm a vegetarian. I was vegan for a period of time.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: I was going to ask you if you're still vegan.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I shifted away from vegan when I got pregnant because that was a situation in which I was feeling weak. I was not feeling strong, I was not getting enough.
And that was a decision I made for myself. And we're still kind of in that phase because now I have a 19 month old, and now I'm learning how difficult, not impossible, just difficult. Because I know people do it to raise a 19 month old vegan.
But when I was vegan, my body didn't. I didn't need the dairy and I felt great and right now I'm kind of the same as you. I really don't drink that much anymore. It's usually if there's a special event and it's a nice glass of wine or a really good cocktail. I'm not just drinking a drink, which makes me feel great. I don't want to be hungover. I've done that enough in my life. That is not worth it. And I also know when I eat stuff that's not healthy, I feel shitty. It doesn't mean I'm feeling sick. What you eat impacts so many.
I actually, Michelle Pettingale, who was on an episode earlier this week, she actually focuses part of her practice on nutrition for mental health and how what you eat can impact your mental health generally. That can also impact the physical. And we talked about that a little bit and I was like, I know, not drinking for extended periods of time. I do sleep better and I also just enjoy my Sundays more. Right, because you're not waking up, skipping workouts and just eating crappy because you feel crappy and then continuing the pattern.
I definitely agree that if there's anything we can learn from how food impacts our body is just take a moment, maybe a month to track what you eat. Not to count calories or whatever it is, but to journal how it makes you feel. Because having done that, because I wanted to know if the food was really doing anything for me. And luckily for me, I wasn't noticing a substantial pattern except for when I was hungover. Right. So I'm like, okay, just don't get hungover. And you can avoid that feeling that way. But that's just me. I was like, okay, I'm lucky. It doesn't impact me, at least in a way that I'm noticing, right. And overall, I'm pretty healthy. But it's information. You're empowering yourself with information about how to live your life. And if that could improve the way you live your life, don't you want to know it?
[00:42:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
I'm not going to lie. I do enjoy a good cocktail, like you said, and a time out with some girlfriends and doing those things. And I was kind of the same way with the diet.
I didn't notice an immediate thing. It were certain things and then I started to just minimize them. I really was like when I would bring it back in.
Now when I do have gluten, there's times I was going hardcore for probably about six months. I had found gluten free breads and things that I really liked and I was like, I haven't had beer in eight months, I haven't had any beer whatsoever, which there's nothing better, I feel like, than just a nice, cool, crisp beer on, like, a summer day at the pool or something, or the beach. But I noticed now if I had, like, we went a couple of weeks ago, too, and this really great food truck was there and they didn't have gluten free buns for a burger, but the burger was so worth it. And, I mean, the next day, I just felt like my stomach was upset. It's just like my body was like, yeah, it's not great, but the burger was phenomenal, so it was kind of worth it. But, yeah, you just have to figure out what works for you and how you feel.
And I would not do it all at, like, I don't know if you've heard this, Chelsea, because I think for me, it wasn't manageable. Like, I'm cutting out dairy, I'm cutting out this, I'm cutting out that. I'm cutting out all these things. And it's like, well, then what can I eat? And I think something that's not talked about enough is the food noise. And I heard this when I started the weight loss medicine I was on. When we are on diets or we are trying to watch what we're eating, we are constantly thinking about food. I know I was. And positive and negative, right? You're trying to watch what you eat back in the day when we're like, I'm only going to eat 1000 calories a day because that is not healthy at all.
We're thinking about, okay, this is this many calories or this is this many, and then it's like, okay, well, I can't have this. I'm going to eat really healthy. I'm going to have a salad for lunch. And then you're thinking about it, right? Or even when I felt like when I was tracking my protein and my macros, which is very healthy, I'm still constantly thinking about it and I don't want to be thinking about all the time. And I think as a parent and as a mom, when we already have so many things to think about, the last thing I want to think about is a constant thing that I'm going to have to make. Also multiple meals for my family and me because I can't eat certain, and there are certain things I can't eat and they eat and that's fine. But I don't want to think about food constantly because I felt like it did the reverse effect for me even when I was thinking about the healthy food, I was still thinking about it and being aware of what I couldn't, couldn't have, and guilting myself if I did sneak or if I did have. Like, I just had some peppermint bark before we started because it was good and I wanted it. So it's like that constant food noise is hard to break away. And I think that's the addiction cycle when it comes to eating and unhealthy habits that I don't think people talk about as much.
[00:46:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I tracked my food for, like, 1015 years every single day. It was very damaging.
And I didn't know until I finally let it go.
And that's probably only really been in the last three years.
And it was so obsessive. I was constantly planning, but I also was terrible at food Prep, so it was that much worse because then I had to coordinate and figure out, what am I doing for lunch? What am I doing? It was a never ending conversation inside my head about food. And now I don't track my food. I kind of eat whatever I want. Luckily for me, I want healthy food.
Doesn't mean I eat healthy all the time and don't still have cookies and cake when I want it. And it just really depends.
But for me, I'm in the best shape of my life for multiple reasons. And I found the combination of things that makes me feel healthy is not obsessive. And so, for me, I only track protein. I only think about protein, and I don't even track it to the specific gram. It's more like, I know I got at least this much, and everything over and above is right. Okay, I'm not taking it that seriously, but enough to say, I know I need this much protein because I'm working out really hard. And if I want to burn fat and build muscle because I have strength goals for myself, not necessarily weight loss goals, then I need to provide my body with what it needs to do that. But other than that, I really don't know how many calories I eat in a day. I don't care. It's not impacting my body anymore like it was before because I've changed multiple things in the way that I treat my body. But the food noise comment really resonated with me because that was just a long time to track your food. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. And when I didn't, I would go back and sit and have to calculate and go back and be like, okay. And then I would think about, oh, I ate this much. Meaning I need to burn more calories tomorrow. That's just such a toxic mindset. And having a daughter, I feel like, for me, has heightened the attention I give to my self talk and the way I project about food, weight, all of these things, because I want to protect her from the kind of the dangerous mindsets I grew up with as best as I can, so that she knows that what I did was not normal. Right now is talking positively about your body having healthy relationships at food. You can have a cookie every day.
You can have all these things every day within reason, right?
You can really let go of some of those heavy, arbitrary rules that society puts in place for how we should eat if we want to be absolutely healthy. And the end of the day, your mental health has to be at the strongest level possible for everything below to come into play, right? Your physical, your relationship, health, all of these things. If your mental health is there and your relationship with food is. I just think that a lot of females, and I actually think it's heavy to female athletes as well, depending largely what sport you play. Our relationship with food and weight is, I think, one of the unhealthiest, at least when I talk to a lot of my friends that are all kind of. I'm kind of talking like 33 to 40 range right now because those are the people that I'm most closest with as far as athletes go, similar relationships with food. And that's just how we grew up, and now we're having to work really hard to reverse those mindsets. So what are your goals, your plans? Anything exciting for 2024 that you want to share?
[00:50:52] Speaker B: I would say for my family and work and just life, I want to be more present more in the moment and just appreciate my kids are starting to get to the age of sports, which I love, and I'm so excited for them, but being. Just appreciating their game at that moment, appreciating them, being in the practice and turning and doing things where I'm putting my phone down, I'm picking up a book a little bit more. I've been reading a lot more. So I would say just being more present and just laughing a little bit more. I think just with the kids and having a good time. I think physically I am kind of on the same lane with you in terms of being strong. Like, I've lost this weight, but now I just want to be strong.
I want to be buff. I want to be able to look strong and feel strong because I've worked hard and I've done the right things for my body that I feel really strong.
So those are the two big things. I feel like just being in control allow the most we can be in control of ourselves. But I think those are two things is being present and being just stronger. And I think yes, physically, but also I think being present will allow me to be more mentally stronger with aspects of my life for my family is most important to me right now.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I hear you on the phone.
That is my number one commitment for this upcoming year. I'm starting it now, but it's really my mindset focus is to be more comfortable having my phone in a different room, let alone not in my hand. Right. Just kind of separating myself from constantly having to be connected, especially when I'm at home with my family, with the people that I'm most concerned about on a regular basis, so that I can be a little bit more present when I'm playing with my daughter or spending time with my husband. I think I've made this commitment in different ways multiple times throughout the year. And I just feel like I'm kind of half assing it. And I know that that can impact so many other experiences if I can just separate myself. So it's that. And for me, it's getting outside even more this time of year. When it's dark earlier and it's a little bit colder, it's always harder. But I still want to make sure that I'm getting outside a lot. I always feel better when I'm outside more. And I know that for belly, my daughter, she has so much fun being outside. She's a climber, she likes to do all these things. And so I just want to keep her curiosity alive for all things, being outside so that she enjoys that in the future, whatever that means. So those are two of mine which somewhat similar, kind of just being present and having fun.
I know that I've had more fun since becoming a mom than I had in the years before because you laugh more, you're acting like a kid more. And I just want to play that up for myself more in 2024 because my job is serious. I have a lot of serious conversations, clients going through serious stuff. And when I'm not in it, I want to just be a little bit more silly and be okay with being more silly in front of everybody, not just my family and my daughter, but just letting a lot of that go, that stiffness that we get when we get older sometimes.
So those are my goals for 2024.
[00:54:33] Speaker B: I love that for you, Chelsea. I love that. I love Mom, Chelsea.
[00:54:37] Speaker A: Mom, Chelsea. She's pretty cool.
I think I put a little bit too much, I don't know, emphasis is the right word, attention. But I hope my daughter thinks I'm cool. I think cool.
I think I'm fun.
[00:54:54] Speaker B: We'll teach her that. You're cool.
[00:54:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
I remember the point where I thought my mom wasn't cool. Obviously, I think she's really cool now. But is my daughter going to think I'm not cool at some point in her life? That's brutal, man.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: Yeah, they definitely will.
Your mom is the coolest.
[00:55:14] Speaker A: I know her dance moves.
[00:55:16] Speaker B: I love them.
[00:55:16] Speaker A: And, Rick, Cindy is the best. I love it.
Well, I'm so thankful we got to sit down. Not only because I miss you, I love you and I love catching up, but I really appreciate you being candid and sharing your journey and what you're going through. And I can't wait to see where you go from here.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun.
It's so easy to say, oh, this is so long overdue, and we need to catch up. But, I mean, the reality is we're literally on different coasts, so it's hard. It's really hard. But I.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: Hey, we made it happen. We did.
[00:55:52] Speaker B: We absolutely freaking did. And I'm proud of us.
[00:55:56] Speaker A: All right, well, I love you.
[00:55:57] Speaker B: Love you soon. All right, bye.
