Episode Transcript
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Friends.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: I truly believe that keeping promises to yourself is the foundation of being successful in life. At least it has been for me. If you can break commitments to yourself regularly, then how are you ever going to keep your commitments to others? I sat down with Navi Bliss certified love and relationship coach, to talk about the concept of keeping promises to yourself and so much more. She openly shares her journey and helps others find their confidence. Enjoy our chat.
[00:00:54] Speaker C: Good morning, Navi, how are you?
[00:00:57] Speaker A: I'm doing fantastic. I'm so happy to be here with you.
[00:01:01] Speaker C: I'm so excited for us to sit down and chat today. I have so many questions about you personally in your business and talk all things Navi Bliss. I want to know a little bit about your background, a little bit personally, because I understand, at least from speaking to you, that your personal experiences have really played a role in your professional career at this point. So tell me a little bit about Navi Bliss before Navi Bliss coaching.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
So my journey started, I would say, in childhood, and I grew up with a mom that was physically and emotionally abusive towards me. And so I grew up not developing self esteem. I didn't know what that ever felt like, to love yourself, to accept yourself. That wasn't something that I learned at any time in my life in the beginning. And that set me on a path in my life to seek love and validation outside of myself, because I just wanted someone to love me, to prove that I was worthy of love.
And the problem is, when you start seeking love outside of yourself, instead of self sourcing it, if it crumbles, you end up toppling, even lower and even lower. Right. And I ended up getting married when I was really young, and that marriage was not an abusive marriage, but he was unfaithful and had a child with somebody else while we were married.
[00:02:41] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: And I felt so elated when we got married because I'd felt like that was the defining moment of my worth. Somebody had chosen me, somebody had loved me, and all of a sudden, now I had gained my confidence. Now I was worth something. And when that happened, my self worth plummeted to a place that it had never been before. It was even lower than I'd started out with. Right. And that's the problem with outsourcing your worth. And then that led me into a trajectory of going into relationships where there was domestic violence, because I just needed anybody to love me, even if I felt like it wasn't okay. I just needed someone to love me. And after I got out of that second domestic violence relationship, it was a grace. I got out by the skin of my teeth, and I realized that it could never happen again. I had to figure this out.
So I went on a healing journey. I knew that what had happened to me in my childhood was not my fault. But I was not a child anymore, and I was deciding what I was allowing into my life. And I had allowed these people into my life, and I'd allowed them to treat me this way. And I knew that I had to heal and build self worth or at least boundaries, so that I didn't allow other people to treat me that way. And this healing journey was so transformative for me because I realized that I could give myself the love, I could self source this love that I'd been seeking outside of me all along and that I actually could just feel good in my own skin. And that was something that I'd wanted, that but I didn't think that that was possible. And as I went on this journey, I realized that this is something I'm really passionate about helping other people to do as well to fall in love with themselves so that they can attract healthy relationships into their life, and this applies to every single relationship in your life. And that they can live in their full confidence and go out and do the things that they're meant to do in this world. Because when you don't love yourself, that's what's holding you back. And everybody has some magic in them that they're supposed to be making a difference in this world, and they're not making that difference if they don't believe in themselves. And so I'm so passionate about helping people to fall in love with themselves so they can effortlessly attract that love that they want, that dream career, those dream clients, whatever it is, and it starts with ourselves.
[00:05:24] Speaker C: I really love something you said. You said what happened in my childhood was not my fault, but I had allowed some other things to happen as an adult that impacted your ability to kind of have that definitive self love. What tools did you acquire to get yourself to have that type of mindset where you are essentially saying, that was not my fault, but I am accountable for where I go from here?
[00:05:53] Speaker A: I don't know if there were a lot of tools that got me through my healing, I think it was just a switch that went off in my brain, right, to know that I can't control anyone else. The only person that I can control is myself. And I knew that. I'd always known that even though I didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel deserving. I knew that no one is born. You don't see a child and think, okay, this child deserves to be unloved. This child deserves to be abused, right? So I knew internally from my gut that that wasn't my fault, that that wasn't okay. But I also realized I can't control anyone else but myself. And I looked around and no one else was coming to save me. And if I wanted to be saved, I had to do it for myself.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I love that. And once you got to this point, what do you think your first kind of action step was for you? What was that first like?
This is what I'm actually going to be doing starting now.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: One was just acknowledging that I was hurting and that I needed healing. Right? I think that that's the first step is just to acknowledge that that's where you're at. And my path included a few different things. The very first thing was therapy. And when someone is in a lot of pain, I do recommend therapy because you need someone to hear you, you need to be acknowledged, you need a safe space for that. And therapy is that safe space. And that was really big. To just be able to acknowledge my feelings, to just have someone hear me out, to hold that space for me, that was huge.
And then I got to a point with therapy as well, where I just realized I would go into the therapist's office and she would say, it's okay for you to be angry at your mom. It's okay for you to be upset about these things. And at that point, I'd really let it sunk in because I had shared it, I'd expressed it, I wasn't holding it in anymore. And I knew that it was okay, but I was done being angry. I said, I don't want to be angry anymore.
I'm ready to put that anger down and I'm ready to move forward in a different direction. And then that's when I actually found coaching, because that's sort of how I separate therapy and coaching when someone is in active trauma. And even if they come to me as a coach, I would say you should go and get therapy first because coaching isn't about helping somebody who's in active trauma. It's about supporting someone who has done some healing. And now they're kind of in a state where they don't know how to move forward from that. And now they need something to help create forward momentum in their lives.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: And I think that's a good distinction to make is some people are always two steps ahead, or they want to be two steps ahead of where they are and they just want to get past it. And part of getting past it is working through some of the issues in depth, or at least acknowledging those issues before you can move on. And that can be hard for a lot of people.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. But the thing is, if we repress it, you can't move past it. Right. Any of the stuff you try to do isn't going to work. And it's a different amount of time for everyone. Right. Trauma affects people differently. People's nervous systems are different, and some people are going to stay in active trauma for a much longer period of time. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just you react how you react but you need to go to a place where you can be held in that moment when you're experiencing absolutely is.
[00:09:50] Speaker C: There a particular person or a particular community that you were able to connect with as you started your journey that you believe was impactful for you?
[00:10:04] Speaker A: I think there were so many, to be honest with you, because once you know and it's always making the decision for yourself and I didn't know where to start. So I started searching self help. I read so many different books, authors that I really, really love that have had an impact on me. I love Louise Hay, I love her work.
I love Michael Smith. I love so many people that as I started to reach for help and I looked at all of these different places of support, there are so many different avenues, right, and people that are going through the same thing and then going into communities where people have experienced the same thing. So be that support groups and those were helpful at different points in my journey. Right. Because in the beginning I needed to know that I was not alone in having that experience. And then I also found that there was a point when it wasn't helpful anymore to be in a place in a support group where people were going through that had experienced the same thing because people were just rehashing their trauma and I was done with that.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Yeah. And acknowledging that is important too.
You're never going to walk into a room and expect it to give you exactly what you want. Or at least you shouldn't walk into a room and expect it to give you exactly what you want. The experience is going to be unique for every group of people or every individual. And so it's nice to hear that you pulled all these resources, you took advantage of what you could find and you chose what served you. It's not a one size fits all, what one person might recommend as far as a book or hey, this book really helped me. Somebody else could read that same book or utilize that same resource and be like, that is not connecting with me. And so trying a little bit of everything and deciding what serves you, I think is a really great piece of experience to share because so many people going through a trauma or just generally trying to heal from prior experiences and move on with their life, they're looking for that fix for them. And that's not going to be what their friend needed or their sister needed or their neighbor needed. Sometimes you have to try a little bit of everything to find the right fit.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And you're going to need different things at different points in your journey. So I think whatever you're being called to, whatever you're being guided to, I really believe that our intuition is guiding us towards things.
Take a step forward towards what you're being guided to.
[00:12:55] Speaker C: Yeah, I love that. So I want to hear a little bit about your coaching business, how you developed it, and how you decided the types of clients you wanted to serve. So tell me a little bit about your business.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Yeah, so with my coaching business, I started really just wanting to help people with dating and relationships. And as I started to dig into that, the common thread that I was pulling was, this is really a self love issue, this is really a confidence issue. And then once you cement that, yes, there are relationship skills to develop, but having those relationship skills without having that self love and confidence piece doesn't translate well because it's kind of just like putting on a mask or a bandaid and you're not really solving the problem. And so I started to shift the work that I was doing as I went along. And I work with people who are wanting to attract a relationship. Like they've been in a toxic pattern, and they're done with that, and they want to break that. I work with people that have lost that spark in their relationship as well. And their relationship at one time was great, and it's not there anymore, and they're wanting to bring that magic back to it. And then I also work with people who are wanting to magnetize their soulmate clients into their business. Because the thing is, attraction is the same.
It's the same whatever. You're applying it to whatever area of your life. And once you build that piece of self love and self confidence and you learn those communication skills, you learn how to show up in the world and present yourself in a way you want, all of these things will naturally start coming to you.
[00:14:55] Speaker C: Yeah. And so that highlights kind of the next question I would have for you is what is your ideal client for your business and what do you think attracts those clients to you?
[00:15:11] Speaker A: So my ideal client, like I said, it's someone who wants to change their relationships, really. Right. So be that their relationship with themselves, their relationship as in the partners that they're attracting, or the current relationship that they're in, or their relationship to business and clients. Right. And so it's somebody who wants to change their relationships. And I think what attracts that person to me is that I really try to be an embodiment of my work. I'm fully authentic and honest, and I'm willing to share about the places that I've been and the things that I've been through or even as things come up for me. Right. I'm willing to be honest and transparent about that. And it's someone that resonates with my story that can connect to that. And they just know, again, people are guided to this. People will connect to you. And this is what I teach people. When you have the courage to be fully present and to be fully authentic, and to show up in the world in that way, the people who are naturally going to be attracted to you, you're going to magnetize those people like other people will still be there, but they're not going to be around you. They're not going to be in your world anymore. And that is just how I bring my clients in, right? I love to do things like this podcast interview and share my story and put myself out there because I know that whoever is meant to connect with me, whoever's going to listen to this and my story is going to resonate with them. That is somebody who is going to be my ideal client. And there's going to be people that listen to this and they don't connect with it. And that's absolutely fine as well.
[00:17:03] Speaker C: So I have a law firm and we work with a marketing team, and they're always asking us, who is your ideal client? Where are they? How are you finding them? And what message you want to put out there? And no matter how many times we ask this question, it can change from time to time depending on the specific issue. I do family loss, so it's a wide range of divorce related issues, custody issues, mediation, premarital planning. And so my ideal client isn't a particular age range, it's not a particular income range. It really has to do for me, somebody who wants to approach their situation with grace and respect and with the goal of getting through the process as efficiently as possible, but understanding that it's not always going to be so easy. And I always say that what attracts my clients to me is I try not to be that corporate lawyer that feels cold, that's just going to tell you the law and go after every legal argument you possibly can just because that's what you're asking me to do now. That also means I'm going to educate my clients on all the legal options that they have and allow them to navigate that and choose what serves their goals for their particular issue.
But for me, it's really about making sure clients feel heard, making sure that you're engaging with them in a way that lets them know, hey, I'm here with you. I'm in this with you. I'm going to explain all your options. I'm also going to make sure you understand how much that cost and the different paths that you can take. And at the end of the day, I want you to be healthy and happy and feel like you got through this process in a way that serves you. That doesn't mean you're going to be 100% happy at the end. Not very many people are going to report that they're 100% happy that they just finished their divorce. It's just not that simple. But do they feel like it was a success however they choose to define success. And I feel like I've been successful in attracting clients that trust. I'm going to give them all the options and support them. But I'm not going to blindly support them either. If things don't make sense, if things aren't reasonable. And the right client for me wants to be checked in that way, they want to be pushed back on when their positions might be unreasonable. And that's where that credibility, I think, has built for me over time and the clients I have that heed my advice and engage with me and push back on me as well. We have a really great connection and we're able to accomplish a goal for them. But there's still those days where it's hard it's hard for me to give my message out and come off the way that I feel I want to all the time in my business because of the type of business I have. And so I love hearing that that's part of the work you do from a relationship standpoint, because I do believe it's about attraction, which is what you highlighted is, are they attracted to the message that I'm sending? And are they attracted to the confidence that I'm projecting that I'm going to take care of them in the way that they need to be taken care of? So I really do think it can apply to so many different areas of our relationships, not just our spouses or significant others, but our friendships, our business partnerships. And so I really enjoyed hearing that. Do you feel like the clients that you work with from a business standpoint, when they're trying to attract their ideal clients, are they having trouble projecting their message or are they having trouble creating their message?
[00:21:13] Speaker A: I think it's a little more nuanced than that. Right. So when it comes to business, what I actually work with people on is mindset and not strategy and the energetics behind it. And then the strategy will fall into place, or if it doesn't, then they can get other people to help them put the systems in place. Right? Because, I mean, I have systems in my own business, and I do understand that, but what I help people with is the energetics behind it. Right.
One of my keynotes that I do for entrepreneurs is I went on over 1001st dates when I was dating, and I really found my worth and my purpose through all of that. And so I correlate the experiences that you have dating with your business right. And the things that I learned throughout that process. So I'll give you an example.
So one of the things when I initially was dating and I was going on all of these dates, I was really honed in on how can I be more attractive to these dates? Right?
That's where my focus was. That's where my mind was, and I was really focused on being attractive to those days. What I was not focused on is who I was attracted to. And once I shifted that focus, I started to bring those people in. I started to call that in. Right. So I went from having these really terrible dates that were not aligned because I was focused on the wrong thing. My focus is on the wrong place, and I started to focus on what I wanted. And so a lot of times when it comes to business owners and if they want to connect with their soulmate client, you have to think, who is your soulmate client? You have to be focused on that. What type of client are you attracted to? What type of qualities do you want them to have? Right. And as you focus on that, as you change your mindset, as you change your focus towards that, rather than being attractive to them, you're going to naturally be able to start putting out messaging where you're able to communicate with them, right?
[00:23:39] Speaker C: That's exactly it. And I think that's where a lot of business owners can struggle because they can get too focused on just any client. Oh, it's a client, it's revenue. And that doesn't always translate into a good experience for everybody. I know I've had those situations, and I say no.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: In my business, I don't work with everybody. I always do a call before I sign somebody up as a client for either one on one coaching or group coaching. I mean, sometimes I have people that buy programs without a call, but I don't work with everybody because the biggest thing that I'm trying to determine on that call and I always let people know there is more than one path to get to the destination. Right. And I'm going to lead you down one path. And they have to trust me as their guide and be willing to go down the path that I'm leading them because otherwise they're going to end up going in circles. Because I made that mistake when I first started in my business, and I took on a client that was also working with somebody else at the same time who had a different point of view and was just going in circles and there was no progress made. And the thing is, I'm not saying that my way is the only way to get to where you're going. It is one way to get to where you're going. So if you want to go my way, then you have to trust to be led by me. And I'm going to be really honest. One of my clients, one of my favorite clients, has this incredible success story. My initial call with her did not go well because I told her the truth and she didn't want to hear it. So she came to me because she wanted to work on a relationship that was not healthy. And when she explained the whole situation to me, I said, I would love to work with you, but I'm not going to support you in working on this relationship because I don't think it's good for you. And she was pissed because that's what she wanted to hear. And she did a call with a bunch of other coaches as well. And then she took a step back and she realized that I was telling her the truth. She knew it in her gut that I was telling her the truth. And she decided to walk away from that relationship and she decided to come back and work with me.
We did a lot of work together and we really worked on building her self worth and her self confidence.
And then she met a really wonderful man. And in the beginning she was really worried when she met this man because she's in her fifty s and he'd never been married before. And she said, oh, he must have commitment issues.
And what I told her is we can't judge him based on the fact that he hasn't been married. We're going to judge him based on the fact of how he's showing up for you and how this relationship is progressing. And we're not going to place these judgments. We're going to decide based on the amount of time that we're spending with this person, how are they showing up for you?
And a little over a year after they met, he took her out to the same restaurant that they had met at and he proposed to her. And when he proposed to her, he gave her this really beautiful ring and this card that was so old and tattered. And she's just like, what is this card? And he told her that he had bought that card when he was in his early 20s because he'd been shopping at a card store for something else. And he saw a card that it was like from a man to his wife. And when he saw that card, those were all of the qualities that he wanted in his wife. And he never met anyone until he met her that embodied all of those qualities. And so he'd saved that card to give to his future wife and he gave it to her when he proposed to her.
[00:27:43] Speaker C: Oh my gosh, that's just like the sweetest story.
But also I think highlights kind of the foundation of what you've been talking about, which is attracting somebody that's going to acknowledge your value not for validation, but to come into the world, into that world with you. And so I think that's a perfect example of that.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:08] Speaker C: So one thing you talk about is your four pillars of confidence. And so I want to know a little bit about your four pillars of confidence and how you crafted these.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: Yeah, so these are things that I saw as reoccurring issues when someone didn't have confidence. And so these are the cornerstones that you have to build up in your life in order to build a solid foundation to have confidence in your life. So my four pillars of confidence. The first one is to live your values. So what I mean by live your values is you have to first of all define what your values are and then you have to live in accordance with them. And there isn't a right or wrong, your values are your values. Someone else's values are going to be someone else's values, right? But you have to live in accordance with your own values in order to be confident, right? So if you value health and being in shape and you're not doing that, you're not going to be confident.
So you have to figure out that's one example of a value. But there's so many, right? If you value success and financial success and you don't have financial success, you're not going to be confident because you're not living that value.
If you value kindness and you're not being kind, you're not going to value yourself. If you value charity work and philanthropy and you're not participating in that in your life, you're not going to value yourself. So it's getting really clear on what your values are and then making sure that you're living in accordance with your own values.
So that's my first pillar of confidence.
The second pillar of confidence is to cultivate self trust.
So self trust is really big because you can't love somebody that you don't trust and that includes yourself. So you have to start being honest with yourself and not lying to yourself. So this means that if you say you're going to wake up at six in the morning and you say this to yourself every single day and you don't do it and you lie to yourself, you're breaking self trust with yourself, right?
Every time you set a boundary and you don't hold that boundary, you're breaking self trust with yourself. So part of this is just also getting real and getting honest. It's not about judging yourself, right? And so sometimes it's that we're trying to do too much all at once, right? So instead of saying, I'm going to work out twice a day for an hour a day and this is a promise that you keep saying and you keep breaking that promise to yourself, right, because it's too big of something to do, how about you just say, I'm going to do five push ups every day. That's the promise that you make to yourself. And if more comes as a result of that, fine, but that's a much easier promise to keep. But as you start to keep that promise, you start to believe yourself and you start to believe in yourself as you are keeping these promises to yourself. And this requires self examination and honesty to figure out the areas where you are lying to yourself. And this can creep into your life in a subtle way, right, if you're not paying attention to it.
And then my third pillar is live your passions because you need to have a life that. You are excited about in order to love yourself.
So your passions, again are your passions, but they have to be things that light you up. So if you're in a situation where you're unable to live your passion for work, that's okay. But you should be living it in your Hobies. Because if you're going to a job that you don't like and then you're coming home and you're watching TV and you're sitting in your couch and you're bored with your life, how are you going to love your life? How is that going to translate into confidence? Because if you say that you're bored, what that translates to is that you're boring.
So you have to build a life that you're excited about. And this could be anything crazy and adventurous or it could be for somebody else. It could be something that isn't so adventurous. You could have a knitting club that you're so passionate about that lights you up, right? But it gives you excitement and you look forward to this. And this also translates into your attractiveness because this is going to pour into the conversations you're having with people, right? So this is really big because you have to build a life that you're passionate about and this is so subjective to each person. But that light that you're building up within yourself about your life, when you speak about your life, that's confidence, that's radiance, right?
And this is something that is just so within our control to be able to do this.
And then my fourth pillar is it encompasses four steps. So the pillar is practicing lovingkindness towards yourself. But there's four aspects to this. So every single day you need to do something for your mental well being. You need to do something for your physical well being, you need to do something for your spiritual well being and you need to do something for your aesthetic well being because you are not going to feel good and you are not going to feel confident without those things. And again, they don't have to be big things. So for your mental well being, you could even do some deep breathing. You could do five minutes of deep breathing, you could do some tapping, you could do meditation, you could do journaling. It could be a variety of things. It could be like big things or it could be small things, right? But you have to incorporate that schedule that as a part of every single day that this is at least a few moments where you're taking care of your mental well being. Same thing with your physical well being. Whatever is going on, whatever is happening in your life, you have to do something for your physical well being. So you could just go for a walk, you could eat a vegetable, right? Just like one thing. Again, we're not going for a monumental because we don't want to break that self trust. Just one thing that you're going to do every single day, regardless of whatever else is happening, because it's a loving gesture that you're making towards yourself.
And the next thing is your spiritual well being. And this is again very personal. If you're religious, this could be participating in something to do with your religion, taking a moment for that. If you're not, it could just be taking a moment to connect with yourself, going for a walk in nature, doing even like a 1 minute meditation, something for your spiritual well being. And then the last is your aesthetic well being. And this matters because you are not going to feel confident if you are not physically taking care of yourself. And I don't mean that you have to transform yourself into a different body, but what I mean is if you're in three day old sweats and you haven't washed your hair, you're not going to feel confident. So at the very least, this means that you're going to look fresh and clean every single day. You're going to do that for yourself. That's the bare minimum. If you want to go all out glam, you want to take it a few more steps beyond that, absolutely, go ahead, knock yourself out. But the bare minimum is that you need to be in a physical state where you're not embarrassed to interact with people, even if you're just going to be home by yourself. If someone was to pop over where you don't feel like you need to hide or you don't want to be seen by somebody. So you have to do something for your aesthetic well being every single day. And so those are my four pillars to confidence. And there's a lot more work that I do with people, but that is foundational.
And what I love about that is those are all things that are fully within our control.
[00:36:26] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean something you said that stuck with me as you continued to discuss the nuances of those pillars was you can't be in a relationship with somebody you don't trust and that includes yourself. That I think is such a heavy message, but is such a simple thing to be able to acknowledge and keeping promises to yourself, I think is the number one thing that leads to.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: Kind.
[00:37:00] Speaker C: Of checking the boxes of all those pillars of confidence. Such that when I set a schedule for myself because it's going to allow me to accomplish all the things I want to accomplish either in a given day or a given week. And I check all those boxes when I get to Friday. I am feeling so much more productive.
My to do list has been checked off. I'm just feeling ready to enjoy the weekend and give myself that relaxing time because I've checked off all these things I wanted to accomplish. And if I keep that promise to myself, it's empowering me to be like I did, that I'm satisfied with the work that I did this week. And then if I go and think back to the little things you can do each day to build yourself up, it's what is my workout schedule, right? It's not going to be the same as somebody else's workout schedule, but did I stay in my routine and did I get outside and do the things for my physical well being that I committed to doing for myself? That's always going to make me feel good. And on the days I choose to give myself a rest day or not do something necessarily as intense as I normally do, what did I do to feel good? Did I get outside for a walk? Did I journal? Did I take a moment to call a friend, call my sister, call my mom? Because that always makes me feel good. And so for me, all of that went back to that statement of you cannot be in a relationship or not love somebody you don't trust, including yourself. So I really loved that.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And the thing is, when you don't trust yourself, there's a lot of preemptive resentment that creeps up in relationships, all relationships, right. So you could be getting mad at your partner because you think that they might ask you to do something they haven't even asked you to. And the resentment is building up in your body because you don't have the capacity to say no, your boss or your client is like asking you to work overtime or ask for something extra. And again, you have so much resentment or you think that they might, right? Because you don't even want to open that email.
That resentment is seeping out of you because you can't hold your own boundary because you don't trust yourself.
[00:39:30] Speaker C: Yeah. It's so important.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Yeah. And the other thing is when you have really strong self trust, the magical thing is it becomes really easy to trust other people because you don't actually need to trust other people. And you don't need to trust other people because you trust yourself to prop yourself up and to be able to handle whatever happens. So if someone lets you down, you know how to process that and how to deal with that yourself. So it's easy to trust them because even if there's that 1% chance that it doesn't happen, you know that you can handle it.
[00:40:21] Speaker C: Yeah. And that really comes with doing the work on yourself. Because people are going to let us down in our life from time to time. That doesn't mean necessarily that that person did something inconsistent with their own values or what they're trying to project in their life. But so often we set expectations for others that are unrealistic or inconsistent with what we know about that person. And so if you can let go of some of those expectations and learn to work through the moments when somebody's going to disappoint you or not meet those expectations, then life is going to be a little bit easier in those moments. At least that's what I believe. That's something I've learned. It's taken me a long time, but I was holding people to unrealistic expectations based on what I thought I needed from them. When it turns out that if I let go of some of those expectations and just enjoyed the things they did bring to my life and focused more on those things and put value on those things, I was overall just enjoying my time with them more and not holding on to resentment and not finding ways to avoid situations with them because they were going to let me down. Well, they weren't letting me down.
My expectations were letting me down. And so it's never easy, but once we can focus on what can I do versus what can somebody else do, then you just enjoy things, I think, a lot more personally.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: I guess that's how yeah, no, absolutely you do.
Like I said, part of this is when you have those expectations, why you actually have those expectations is why you need somebody to do that is because you're trying to fill something within side of you. Right? That's why it's like, I need this person to do this. This has to look this way, this has to be done this way. Otherwise I can't handle it. Because you're placing value, like your value on those things. Right. As soon as you take it away from those things, it doesn't matter. And when I say that it becomes easy to trust other people or you don't actually need to, because you don't actually need to trust other people. I don't mean this from a place of like, oh, you're not going to give any F's anymore.
Right. What I mean is, it doesn't mean you're going to be devoid of emotion. It's just that you know that you have the capacity to it doesn't mean that when I say that I'm in this place where I'm living in this place of confidence, it doesn't mean that I don't cry. It just means that things don't hurt me. They do. But the thing is, I also know that I have the ability to process and deal with that hurt.
And a lot of times I might even cry more than I did before. Because if something hurts me in the moment or I get disappointed because it didn't go the way that I thought it would go, I can let those tears out and I can move forward from that because I always have a process that I can go back to, to build myself up and move forward. And I have safety in that.
[00:43:57] Speaker C: Yeah, I really love that. So what is next for Navi?
[00:44:04] Speaker A: Well, what I'm working on right now is I am writing a book which is coming out in April of 2024. So I'm very excited about that. It is called Broken to Blissful and it is where I share my journey and the steps that I overcame, the steps that I use to overcome the things that I have gone through. So I wanted to create this, and I wanted to put this out as a guide for people that are struggling and may not have resources to invest in coaching so that they could use this as a guide and start to rebuild their lives. Because I am passionate about helping as many people as I can, and I know that you can get to the other side, and I'm living proof, and my story is proof of that.
[00:45:01] Speaker C: And you said that's April 2024?
[00:45:04] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:45:05] Speaker C: So where can my listeners find information about you, your coaching business, and keep an eye on the release of your book?
[00:45:14] Speaker A: You can connect with me on my website, which is just navyblisscoaching.com, or you can find me on any social media platform. It's at Navi Bliss on all the platforms, and I'd love to connect with people.
If you just have a question about anything, feel free to DM me. I'm really open and receptive.
I love that.
[00:45:38] Speaker C: Navi, thank you so much for your time today.
[00:45:41] Speaker A: I had so much fun talking to.
[00:45:42] Speaker C: You, and.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: I are going to connect in the future. I think you have a lot of great insights to provide, and thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure speaking to you as well. And I just want to say thank you to the listeners that stayed and listened to this. I know time is valuable, and I hope that you were able to give valuable insights out of listeners as well.
